I feel just like the evil man I seem to be
I feel a little slumpy ... as if I'm in a bit of a slump. Money's tight, no job, not a lot of direction. I'm trying to figure out how to successfully live at home again. I just found out that I've damaged my back and have started a long-term chiropractic journey.
To top it all off, I feel just like the evil man I seem to be. And I'm doing a bad job of talking to God about it. And to top off the top of it all, it's Christmas, and I had hoped to be in a bit more of a genuinely celebratory mood. I'm working on it, and I'm not giving up, and I hope for hope, but my self-discipline is about as strong as my lower back these days. It all feels ugly, and I don't like ugly. I hate being plugged and sluggish.
(I hate not being in control.)
And if you're anything like me you know that brackety part back there is the problem.
So God help me. Christ be with me. As backward and downright silly as it sounds, Jesus help me to give up to you. I truly want to live the way He created me to live, and I'm sure He is the ticket, so God help me. And humble me so I can start moving around and drinking it all in again.
I hope the peace of Christ on you and me and our families and friends. May we be humble enough to ask for the grace to thank Jesus for coming.
To top it all off, I feel just like the evil man I seem to be. And I'm doing a bad job of talking to God about it. And to top off the top of it all, it's Christmas, and I had hoped to be in a bit more of a genuinely celebratory mood. I'm working on it, and I'm not giving up, and I hope for hope, but my self-discipline is about as strong as my lower back these days. It all feels ugly, and I don't like ugly. I hate being plugged and sluggish.
(I hate not being in control.)
And if you're anything like me you know that brackety part back there is the problem.
So God help me. Christ be with me. As backward and downright silly as it sounds, Jesus help me to give up to you. I truly want to live the way He created me to live, and I'm sure He is the ticket, so God help me. And humble me so I can start moving around and drinking it all in again.
I hope the peace of Christ on you and me and our families and friends. May we be humble enough to ask for the grace to thank Jesus for coming.
posted by Simon at 2:58 PM
6 Comments:
I hear you brother, you are not alone! I will say a little prayer for you.
Amber
Ah Simon I miss you brother, I think you just put into words the way I've felt since summer ended it seems like I'm always fighting myself to do what I know I ought to want to yet do not do and then I chastize myself for it later it's like a cycle...kinda like Paul perhaps (cep't nowhere near as brilliant. you know what I mean I don't want to be a hypocrite I just want to be a sheep. prayers
Hey Simon! If there's one thing that I've learned about being miserable (and I've been a miserable SOB in the past) is that as long as 1 person out there loves you and you love them back, that's all you need.
... well that AND water. You'll die without water.
Simon my man Kelly here back in PC - finally found ya! I'll get the boys to post here sometime soon...
Hope your bum back and the case of the Christmas blues are both memories and that 2006 is treating you better...
TTYL
Kelly
Dude - give me a dingle - time to catch up on old times (My wife and I live near the home quarter now!)
Rob Kroeker
robertkennethpet@yahoo.ca
Happy belated birthday. Played a game of ultimate today and thought of you. Hope things are well.
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